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![The Last Prothean [SFM]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/da69591c-dfd3-40bc-9ce0-5e5c01548a33/damz41i-610e3d23-59a5-4f20-9686-b8b9c1fe3356.jpg/v1/crop/w_184,h_184,x_36,y_0,scl_0.17037037037037,q_70,strp/the_last_prothean__sfm__by_archangel470_damz41i-92s-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTA4MCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2RhNjk1OTFjLWRmZDMtNDBiYy05Y2UwLTVlNWMwMTU0OGEzM1wvZGFtejQxaS02MTBlM2QyMy01OWE1LTRmMjAtOTY4Ni1iOGI5YzFmZTMzNTYuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTE5MjAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.Ygbnd9G_zwMeh8gsjbF08cIsoZe59AzCnJi52Ktx6UE)
![The Last Prothean [SFM]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/da69591c-dfd3-40bc-9ce0-5e5c01548a33/damz41i-610e3d23-59a5-4f20-9686-b8b9c1fe3356.jpg/v1/crop/w_92,h_92,x_18,y_0,scl_0.085185185185185,q_70,strp/the_last_prothean__sfm__by_archangel470_damz41i-92s.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTA4MCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2RhNjk1OTFjLWRmZDMtNDBiYy05Y2UwLTVlNWMwMTU0OGEzM1wvZGFtejQxaS02MTBlM2QyMy01OWE1LTRmMjAtOTY4Ni1iOGI5YzFmZTMzNTYuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTE5MjAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.Ygbnd9G_zwMeh8gsjbF08cIsoZe59AzCnJi52Ktx6UE)
This is the reimagining of the story of Jiro. I am removing Flickering Flame as of right now. This story will be better written for sure. That is a promise. Story is more engaging as well!
Story summary: Little orphan Rokoh has grown up on the streets for as long as he could remember. He has no one, until a mysterious stranger with firebending and chi blocking abilities saves him from a terrible situation. What happens next changes both their lives forever.
Story summary: Little orphan Rokoh has grown up on the streets for as long as he could remember. He has no one, until a mysterious stranger with firebending and chi blocking abilities saves him from a terrible situation. What happens next changes both their lives forever.
Fire Under the Bridge
Next Chapter: [link]
Mature
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Comments4
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactVery good, It was very engaging and you have an impressive vocabulary. In all honesty I can't think of anything that needs improving, except maybe you could talk more about Rokoh and maybe emphasize just how hungry he is or how long he's been out on the streets. Maybe you could also be more descriptive of the chi blocker so he sounds like a much bigger role, perhaps by adding in a narrative by him as well as Rokoh and the lorry driver? All in all, quite impressive, if you were to write a part two I would be eager to read it <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
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